Dick Moves

Contrary to popular belief, you really don’t have to be a dick just to be a dick.

Exhibit A: If I am driving down the highway, and I cut you off by accident, there is no need for you to speed up, pass me, and return the gesture. Mine was an accident, and yours was a dick move.

Exhibit B: If I say something that could be incorrect (admittedly, I’m not always right), there is no need to go surfing the internet to find out if I was right or wrong and then proceed to throw it in my face like a 5 year old. Everything on the internet is not correct and you look like a dick rushing to Google.

Exhibit C: If you know that I really like the color green, and there are 4 blue pens (your favorite color) and 1 green, don’t rush before me, take the green one, and wave it in my face yelling, “I got the green one!” in the na-na na-na boo-boo tune. You have lowered your status to 2 years old.

If you're trying to impress women with dick moves, here's a hint: you're not. The only dick move a woman will be impressed with is if you can make "it" move where she wants it.