Royal Pains in the Ass

Has anyone who is beyond their 20s forgotten what it’s like to be in your 20s? You do stupid shit all the time. Why? So you’ll learn. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’re an idiot and will be on some reality TV show in the future and will make millions which you will blow on idiotic things and proceed to your new career at McDonald’s. Congratulations, you’re still an idiot.

Seriously though, the young Royals are going out nude all over the place lately. Yep, they’re young and stupid, too. Kate, however, is in her 30s. That shit should start to slow down a lot here within the near future. She knows better than to lay out on the beach topless, even if it is in France. You. Have. People. Following. You. All. The. Time. Wear clothes! And where’s William this whole time? Ogling over her I’m sure in complete awe of how beautiful his young bride is. Hello? McFly? You can’t fucking do that and expect it not to be all over the internet and then be pissed about it when it does show up there. And now Granny is pissed…again. She was already pissed because Harry was acting like a 20 year old. God forbid! But when I was in Vegas partying topless in a bar, no one cared. You didn’t see pictures of me all over the internet and even if you did, you didn’t know it was me. The sight of Royal boobs or shlong? That’s headline news. That shit sells papers and pisses off the rest of the Royal family. I personally think it’s hilarious and hope they give all those stuffy Brits the big ol’ middle finger when they’re running the joint. If not, well, in the words of Jerry Lee Lewis in the movie Great Balls of Fire, “England can kiss my ass!”