How do you like your placenta?

Apparently, it’s a pretty common thing to eat your own placenta after you give birth. I don’t have my own kids, and even if I did, I wouldn’t go there. That seems, um, what’s the word? Oh, yeah, disgusting. According to this article, a lot of women eat it in the form of a pill, but some eat it as it naturally is. There are even recipes on the Internet—things like roast placenta and placenta pizza—that people can make themselves. Imagine asking your husband which he’d like for dinner: “Hey, husband, would you rather have the spaghetti with placenta balls or the placenta tips and noodles?” “You sure did get a good scald on the placenta today, wifey!” Gross. People say animals eat their own all the time. Ok. They sometimes eat their young and their own shit. They’re animals. We’re humans. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t eat anything that comes out of your own body. That goes for boogers, wax, blood, piss, shit, and now placentas.